antagxnized:

wow, okay                     wow. where do i even begin? oh !! this is a marvel blog so, let’s start with an origin story.

last year, on the 4th of september, a couple friends who knew i was having some issues keeping an old muse alive told me to take a risk and join a fandom i was  terribly intimidated  by as a muse that i was afraid to dabble in on the grounds that i didn’t believe i’d do him justice. but i took a risk, because it was either that or sit in the abyss of writers block, and who wants their creative side stepped on? my original blog, sleeperxgent, was born that night  –  and i didn’t really know what to expect. it was kind of like starting a new school. i was coming from a small fandom, transferring from a muse where no one really knew of him on a canon aspect, just knew what i brought to the table with him. these were brand new waters for me, and i know how you marvel folk are with your canon !!   ( and no, that’s not dragging the fandom. their devotion to keeping canon alive from both mcu and 616, their ability to cross wires and create these compelling muses           there are so many blogs that render me breathless in this fandom. )

the amount of open arms thrust my way made that blog feel like home, over and over again, from that blog to the revamped version to where i rest now, on antagxnized. i stepped into this fandom terrified, afraid to approach anyone  –  and suddenly, i had these blogs that i felt were waaaaaay out of my league saying amazing things about and to me about my portrayal and my ideas  ( looking at you @degeneris  && @viiduam ). it’s only been what, eight months (?), and i’ve never been so grateful for a blog or a fandom. every time i log onto my dash, i am lucky enough to have people interested in a character i have fallen in love with, i am lucky enough to have people interacting with me, i am lucky enough to gain followers.

and honestly, some days, it baffles me that this many people would be here, along for the bumpy ride that is the development of grant ward. there will never, ever, be a time in which i am less than astounded by the sheer amount of interest other people have taken in what i bring to the table, and there will never be words that fit quite right in thanking all of you for being here for me. for giving me advice, picking me up when i’m sad, and listening to my long-winded rants or headcanons about grant ward. i love you all so, so much. thank you for all of your support, i wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you guys.

MY OTHER BLOGS ♡

⤷ @anxlgesic _^&& @shortfusc

MY BACKBONE ♡

⤷ these are some of the amazing individuals  ( in no particular order )  who have always been there, or who have inspired me to keep on trekking, even when the climb gets a little rough.   :   @nonightoff / @shadowskywalker / @disguiscd, @alleyspat / @symbioted, @naarcissistic / @praevaliidus / @vallkyriies​ / @drownedson​, @bvntar​, @ofdissections, @thedirtyhalfdozen, @wintersspectre, @clintbxrton, @portectorisms, @killforfries, @dogisms, @gotheart, @russixnmade, @tectoniics, @hesparks, @sunderedforce / @greatirresponsibility / @lil-mxnster, @degeneris, @phencyclidinc

SQUAD GOALS ♡

⤷ some of the coolest cats this side of the pillow.   :   @directorofsass, @soldatzimy, @quietandpasty, @eyesofwater, @russiasredguardian, @viiduam, @toxichourglass, @darkinherheart, @gammamade, @gcneralis, @mcckingbiird, @tzaarina, @assuredofthis, @mayiisms, @ofduties, @xaedificare, @fiivealarmfiire, @mencumbui, @comiitatus, @shotgunaxecombo, @sovietperil, @solovagant, @imprxssme, @hxrtley, @profanemouth, @brightestbiochemist, @readyforyours, @noprisonersjustorder, @incxndia, @eightleggedman, @fadedhoney, @rosalindprxce, @anarchiisms, @anaxpraetor, @ladygcd, @scrgeant, @whiskeyandtwoshotglasses, @bcnivolus

BLOG GOALS ♡

⤷ these are people i stalk from afar, because they’re amazing and how do you not.   :   @talentforlying, @courtdeath, @myshkas, @unseenmockingjay, @trappmouth, @toshootfirst, @keptsecrett, @datseabass, @hisbestgiirl, @ibringthexfire, @theredmiist, @heroforhollywood, @symboltothenation, @scottishengineer, @militantly, @toskavechnyy, @iccrus, @jxnkhead, @beastslaying, @akaknightress, @traiitxr, @cxpt, @veinsofwar, @vetusxmiles, @fallencomrade, @purevibranium, @fallenregiimes, @wxngman, @dippinsause, @lumberjaxe, @republici, @slaavic, @hellboundcat, @redoutlxw, @devouringpulse, @devilout, @ironarmored, @forcemeadow, @agenths, @sithslave, @lungsrupture, @darkpatriotism, @peacemaiden, @blackpanthcr, @earthshakcr, @flagwearer, @comegente, @dragonnamed, @secondflag, @serumiisms, @seraphbladed, @americaslegend, @asskickergrimcs, @redroombxllerina, @nothingpersonalcap, @captainrogass, @stardies &&  so many others.

BLOGROLL ♡

** if i forgot you or didn’t mention you, please understand that it doesn’t mean i love you any less !!  my dumbass just decided to do this at 2am…

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