things said on skype starters.
❝ Congrats. You are a rich white girl. ❞
❝ Meant to be. ❞
❝ Oh god, I’m gonna die a hetro. ❞
❝ That’s it. Get in the octagon, you bitch. ❞
❝ I’m going to shove a XXL shrek dildo up your ass. ❞
❝ The only thing I need is black coffee to fill my darkened soul. ❞
❝’He’s nice’ is code for ‘his dick was in my mouth’. ❞
❝ Shove a flaming mailbox up their puny asshole. ❞
❝ And I have 99 ways to kill you, but I’m not bragging. ❞
❝ Can someone please murder me? ❞
❝ I look like a tanned, wrinkly walnut. ❞
❝ I’m married to jesus, you fuck. ❞
❝ That’s it. I’m kidnapping you. ❞
❝ I love you, but you’re seriously a dumbass. ❞
❝ You’re breaking my achy breaky heart. ❞
❝ Stop being so cute and talented. It pisses me off. ❞
❝ To see the boner, you must first be the boner. ❞
❝ Satan was the most beautiful angel. He had the most beautiful barf. I’m sure. ❞
❝ Dark humor isn’t everybody’s cup of liquidized dead baby. ❞
❝ I’d say ‘mark me down as scared and horny’, but I don’t get scared. Just horny. ❞
❝ Bitch, give me my fucking McMuffin or so help me, I will shove this fucking gun up your ass and fire it. ❞
❝ My ass is great, but I am not. ❞
❝ I will rip out your eyes and feed them to you. ❞
❝ No, I’m not buying a virtual dildo. ❞
❝ Why am I way more hardcore? I want answers. ❞
❝ That’s more unrealistic than world peace. ❞
❝ You know what else is really hard? My dick. ❞
❝ What’s the opposite of excellent? Gay? ❞
❝ Were you here when we talked about dick suckers anonymous? ❞
❝ That sounds like a you problem. ❞
❝ May the pussy spirit possess you. ❞
❝ I wish my uterus wasn’t such a little bitch. ❞
❝ I proudly have no dick. ❞
❝ God, I just love talking shit about people. ❞
❝ I’m so cute though that I’m pretty sure I’d be forgiven for murder. ❞
❝ May the gay be with us. ❞
❝ Get your ass back here. ❞
❝ My kink is vengeance and equality. ❞
❝ Go suck Donald Trump’s moldy dick. ❞
❝ Dweeb means ‘dick with eyebrows’ so you’re calling someone a walking
penis. ❞
❝ There is no con, you whore. ❞
❝ I’m not a ho, I’m a slut. ❞
❝ Pinch my cheeks and I’ll bite your finger off. ❞
❝ Stab him. ❞
❝ I have never appreciated being nippled more. ❞
❝ I’m so gay. ❞
❝ I will fucking fight you. ❞
❝ Go suck a dick, but with love. ❞
❝ Listen bitch. ❞
❝ I say some bombass shit. ❞
❝ Oh, that person is dead. Sucks for them. ❞
❝ Fry me, daddy. ❞
❝ Are we telling God to fry us? ❞
❝ I know what I said, bitch ass hoe. ❞
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